Yesterday, Rick and I would have celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. It was the third one since he’s been gone. I made it through the fog of the first one. By the second one, I had adapted to life alone, and I was beginning my foray into the dating world. This year…? How do I categorize this year of widowhood?… Read the blog
At the final session, she gave us an assignment. She’ll never see it. We’ll never share it. It was just a parting gift for us to mull over and write about, another way to gain insight into ourselves, our writing abilities, our hopes, our dreams. She said, “Write about what you’re afraid of.”
After the workshop, as I pondered … Read the blog
…It’s an elusive feeling this time. The grief. The heartbreak. This makes it all final. Rick is gone and he’s never coming back. Another man is holding my hand, telling me he’s crazy about me, kissing me, “smitten” with me. And it’s one of the most bittersweet things I’ve encountered on this long, complicated grief journey.
I guess it’s time … Read the blog
I was featured in an article in Time Magazine. Those are words I never thought I’d type!
The author of an article on seniors dating during/after the pandemic approached the Hope for Widows admins to ask if they had any bloggers who fit this description: over 60, fully vaccinated, and dating.
After an interesting 45-minute phone interview, the … Read the blog
Every morning I read a list of fifty things I have to be thankful for. I started doing this a few months ago; it was something my grief therapist suggested to help me get through the uncertainty and loneliness of life during the pandemic. Yes, I am still seeing a grief counselor, although, at this point, it’s not to help … Read the blog
FLOWERS FOR NO REASON
My life went on without you
I’ve lived through every season
But since you died, the thing I miss
Is flowers for no reason
These Hallmark Holidays, you claimed,
Were not what proved devotion
It was the times lived in between…
Vacations near the ocean
Or evenings on our backyard deck
And private jokes we shared… Read the blog
So as I watched the beautiful memorial for the 400,000 victims, I wept, but in the midst of it all, there was some healing. The beautiful ceremony and the shared grief made me feel much less alone, and grateful that all those people who died alone were being memorialized and honored.
And then the words in President-Elect Biden’s short … Read the blog
Oh Facebook, you’re killing me. Here I sit again with tears streaming down my face. Note to self: do not check the Facebook memories until you’re really prepared for it.
The memories that seem to get me are the ones from four years ago, the last good year with Rick. From January to August 2016, life was normal. But then … Read the blog
My husband has been gone for more than three years. I should be used to living as a widow and existing in my “new normal.” But today I realized, no matter how long I exist without him, I’m not sure this will ever really feel normal.
Sure, my life is on an even keel and I’m doing okay, but this … Read the blog
Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one, and the losses compound as we age. In my 63-year span on earth, I’ve lost my father and mother, and all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The entire older generation is gone and now I’m losing my peers, too – cousins and friends, alike. I have felt the pain of every one … Read the blog