Year Two – A Poem

grief and new normal

I’m used to life without you
I’ve made all new routines
The quiet house seems normal now
My life’s gone on, it seems

I function out in public
Can hold my tears inside
No longer overcome with sobs
Seeking a place to hide

I’m used to traveling on my own
And tables set for one
And you not with me … Read the blog

Fantasy Time

grief memories

Sometimes, I can still hear your voice in my head telling me, “I love you honey.” I can still hear you saying, “It will be OK.”

And every now and then one of your catchphrases pops into my head: “That’s why they call me ‘the big fella,’” or even, “Shut the hell up.”

When something good happens – “That’s better … Read the blog

Thanksgiving Day, 2018

grief holidays

I was missing Rick on our second Thanksgiving apart, and my second birthday without him, but I realized that he will never truly be gone.

Thanksgiving Day, 2018

Another holiday is done
The kids came by and we had fun
I’m thankful for my family
And how my life’s turned out to be

But now this special day is through… Read the blog

Autumn Leaves

autumn, seasons, grief

Can I pretend, just for a few minutes
That you are outside in the yard
Wearing your red flannel hoodie?

Can I imagine, just for a while
On this beautiful November Saturday –
That you’re raking the fallen leaves, as you loved to do?

Wearing your tiny white iPhone earbuds,
You’re listening to the new Grisham book

Oh, how you … Read the blog

Telling Guilt to Take a Hike

grief grieving guilt

After more than a year of coming to terms with Rick’s death, today I came to realize that grieving is just a long-running battle with the words I tell myself in my head. There’s a voice in a continuously running monologue that tells me things that I need to either heed or ignore, words to believe or recognize as a … Read the blog

Filling the Void

grief void

I was fine.

I made it through going to our diner for breakfast. I purposely flipped past the song that would make me cry on the way home on this dreary day.

I pulled into our driveway and for one quick second, looked at the beautiful red-orange leaves on the tree outside our bedroom and remembered that we bought this … Read the blog