It’s the beginning of my eighth week of isolation – quarantining during the coronavirus pandemic. It’s a beautiful sunny day in Michigan. I can finally see summer around the corner! My mood is as sunny as the day, because I’m getting ready to visit my two youngest grandsons.
This decision wasn’t made lightly. My son, daughter-in-law, and I have weighed … Read the blog
I’m a hugger. A cuddler. A squeezer.
Touching and affection are powerfully important elements that keep me happy, sane, and functioning. I know I’m not alone in this. Quarantining is wreaking havoc with the psyches of many of us who are stuck in our homes by ourselves, with no outlet for our love and affection.
Missing Rick’s hugs – his … Read the blog
Waiting has always been hell for me. I’m an extremely impatient person and have been this way since I was a child. But, enduring this coronavirus pandemic, waiting and watching as this impending doom grows closer and more certain, takes on a horror all its own. I’ve been sitting alone in my home for nearly two weeks now. Waiting to … Read the blog
My friend Jo sent me a Facebook memory. Three years ago today, I was with Rick on the Florida gulf. We were sitting with Jo watching a gorgeous sunset in Rick’s favorite spot on Madeira Beach. I sat staring at the photo, unable to remember exactly how I felt that evening. Despite the beauty of the sunset, I know I … Read the blog
Imagine you’re driving in your car, enjoying the scenery. It’s a beautiful sunny day and you’ve been looking forward to this trip. You’re happy about being halfway to your destination and singing along with the radio, when – suddenly – the car next to you swerves in front of you and slams on the brakes. You slam on your brakes, … Read the blog
I was pondering how different my life is now that I’m coming up on another new year without Rick. I’m used to this new normal. I’m past the heavy grieving stage, and I’m living the life of a single woman. I have a very full life. I spend time with my family, play with my grandchildren, and go out nearly … Read the blog
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
Sunday afternoons used to be my favorite time of the week. Sunday afternoons on a chilly, gloomy fall day (as much as I HATE the approaching winter) were even better. Right about now, Rick would be ready for a nap. He would’ve just wrapped up some work on the website for one of our clients after a breakfast we shared … Read the blog
As time moves on, I feel less like a widow, and I begin to wonder how long I’ll still be writing a widow’s blog. But it may be for a little while longer, because even as I continue to pursue my new life, the “single woman” life, being a widow affects how I think and the decisions I make. It … Read the blog
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog