…It’s an elusive feeling this time. The grief. The heartbreak. This makes it all final. Rick is gone and he’s never coming back. Another man is holding my hand, telling me he’s crazy about me, kissing me, “smitten” with me. And it’s one of the most bittersweet things I’ve encountered on this long, complicated grief journey.
I guess it’s time … Read the blog
Every morning I read a list of fifty things I have to be thankful for. I started doing this a few months ago; it was something my grief therapist suggested to help me get through the uncertainty and loneliness of life during the pandemic. Yes, I am still seeing a grief counselor, although, at this point, it’s not to help … Read the blog
Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one, and the losses compound as we age. In my 63-year span on earth, I’ve lost my father and mother, and all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The entire older generation is gone and now I’m losing my peers, too – cousins and friends, alike. I have felt the pain of every one … Read the blog
After Rick died, I started grief therapy. Once I made it through the first year, I decided to stick with my counseling sessions because it was time for some “life therapy.” Why not take advantage of someone to help me make better choices and truly enjoy the last few decades of my life? I made quite a few mistakes in … Read the blog
Waiting has always been hell for me. I’m an extremely impatient person and have been this way since I was a child. But, enduring this coronavirus pandemic, waiting and watching as this impending doom grows closer and more certain, takes on a horror all its own. I’ve been sitting alone in my home for nearly two weeks now. Waiting to … Read the blog
The world is a scary place right now, and I know there are a lot of people alone in their homes, waiting it out. There are many who have always been alone, who have never found a companion they wanted to share their lives with, and I feel for them now. But as a widow, I know that I’m in … Read the blog
You know that awkward teen phase where you’re trying to come to terms with who you are, how you fit in the world, what you want to be when you grow up? That’s me at 62.
I’m a mature woman (well, according to my son, and many of my closest friends, that may not always be true). But, to the … Read the blog
When my son was a toddler, I wanted time to stand still. I loved being a mother. I loved the daily cuteness and cuddling and knew I’d never enjoy anything in life as much as I did being his mom. But he continued to grow, and each year, I enjoyed life more. His million questions, his sloppy kisses, holding him … Read the blog
Once again, it’s the worst week of the year and I’m trying to make the best of it. My husband died on August 13, 2017. His birthday is August 23rd. The year he died, those 10 days were a fog of grief and pain. Rick was in remission, so his death came as a shock that Sunday. I remember feeling … Read the blog
I had a quiet four and a half hour driving trip back from the family cottage yesterday. Four and a half long hours to think about where my life is and where it’s going. As someone who’s been known to overthink things, that’s way too much time on my hands. But it was a lovely trip and it turns out … Read the blog