Since Rick died, I’ve been afraid that I’ll forget things about him. I’ve never had a very good memory. At best, it’s sporadic. I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, but I can remember vivid memories from my childhood. I supposed most people are like that, but in my case, I’m usually surprised by the odd things I can recall … Read the blog
… I’ve stopped dreaming.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened. Was it when Rick got sick and the dreams we shared began to dissolve? Was it after his death, when all my hopes and dreams for the future we had planned turned to dust? I know that in the year and a half since his death, I’ve worked to … Read the blog
This is the time of year we’d be going on our annual Florida trip. Usually we left around Valentine’s Day. We took three days to get there. We enjoyed the drive.
Friends often laughed at how long our drive took. “Three days? Why I drove the 17 hours straight through – it was an overnight trip!” But we didn’t care … Read the blog
… And with that realization, came the decision that it’s time to remove the symbol of our marriage, the beautiful ring that he ceremoniously placed on my left hand so many years ago. To me, continuing to wear the ring is a symbol that I am currently a married woman, a woman who has a living, breathing husband who shares … Read the blog
I do my best to fill my weekends. I’ve had a year and a half to hone my skills. When Rick was alive, I used to look forward to Fridays, the last day of the work week and then – Whee! Freedom! Rick and I could hang out together, starting with breakfast at our favorite diner, then – depending on … Read the blog
How can you be gone?
I repeat this question to myself at least once a week, sometimes out loud, usually accompanied by a silent sob.
I guess I’m getting better. It used to be several times a day, and – in the weeks after you died – it was several times an hour.
True, as life and time … Read the blog
Yesterday marked 17 months since my husband died. So much has changed in my life since then. I’ve grieved, and grieved, and grieved some more. I’ve worked through the grief, written through the grief, talked to my grief counselor, cried on the shoulders of family and friends, and – to be honest – I’m really, really tired of grieving. Shouldn’t … Read the blog
My latest book is now available on Amazon.com. A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year is a compilation of my essays (blogs) and poems from the year following my husband’s death.
It’s available in print and e-book versions.
How did I end up publishing my most personal thoughts in … Read the blog
I’m on the cusp of a new life, but it’s difficult to leave the old one behind. And, if I’m honest with myself, I feel guilty and sad, regretful that I have been able to survive without Rick, that I am making that new life on my own.
When Rick died, I never thought this would be possible – to … Read the blog
Now that you’ve been gone so long
And life and time keep moving on
I spend less time within my room
Crying, weeping, feeling gloom
Those days, those months of constant grief
Incessant pain with no relief
The unrelenting agony
Of knowing you are gone from me
Have seemed to pass and though I’m sad
And tears still come, it’s … Read the blog