Until Death Do Us Part – Hope4Widows

grief journey

Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog

Match Dot Com

grief-journey

I had a quiet four and a half hour driving trip back from the family cottage yesterday. Four and a half long hours to think about where my life is and where it’s going. As someone who’s been known to overthink things, that’s way too much time on my hands. But it was a lovely trip and it turns out … Read the blog

The Rose-Colored Glasses

grief-year-two

In early 2016, I led a charmed life.

I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog

Chapter Two

grief journey

My counselor, Vaiva, told me in one of our early sessions that generally it takes about a year per decade of a marriage to work through the grief. It’s obviously not a hard and fast deadline, and everyone grieves differently. She was just letting me know early, that after having a relationship that lasted 20 years, I shouldn’t wonder why … Read the blog

The Man Who Slept Beside Me

grief journey

This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started recording his face as he … Read the blog

Jenny and Her Ghosts

grief journey

I’m a Game of Thrones fan and I’m also a lover of medieval-sounding music, so I really enjoyed the new song, “Jenny of Oldstones,” by Florence + the Machine on last night’s episode. I downloaded it today from Amazon music and was listening to it sitting out under the gazebo in the hour I have between getting off work and Read the blog

The Mueller Report

grief journey

Will it always be this way?

I feel like I’m done grieving – if that’s even possible. The mornings waking up dreading the day ahead because I know how awful and painful living without him will be are over. The nights spent hoping fervently that I’ll dream of him, just to get a glimpse of him again, just to have … Read the blog