Working through grief after the death of my husband
A CHARMED LIFE
I know that I am fortunate
I have a lovely life
I’m happy and I’m healthy
And have very little strife
[I miss you]
I’ve got a home to keep me safe
A pantry that is full
So much to keep me occupied
My life is never dull
[I miss you so much]
A family who loves … Read the blog
Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays
Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…
Still waiting
Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride
Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog
I had a quiet four and a half hour driving trip back from the family cottage yesterday. Four and a half long hours to think about where my life is and where it’s going. As someone who’s been known to overthink things, that’s way too much time on my hands. But it was a lovely trip and it turns out … Read the blog
In early 2016, I led a charmed life.
I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog
I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.
Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m … Read the blog
My counselor, Vaiva, told me in one of our early sessions that generally it takes about a year per decade of a marriage to work through the grief. It’s obviously not a hard and fast deadline, and everyone grieves differently. She was just letting me know early, that after having a relationship that lasted 20 years, I shouldn’t wonder why … Read the blog
My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us
She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.
My mom once told … Read the blog
If you were here this morning,
You would have urged me out of bed
“C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say
And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck
When we were finished, you’d say,
“Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…”
And we’d work together, side by side…
You with your … Read the blog
This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started recording his face as he … Read the blog