….One of the most difficult aspects of widowhood to adapt to was getting my head around the fact that I was alone, again. Totally alone. Not living with parents or child, but completely alone in a very quiet house. It’s odd how twenty years of being part of a couple could make me forget the “separateness” of my existence in … Read the blog
Category: The new normal
Making Them Immortal
Since Rick died, I’ve been afraid that I’ll forget things about him. I’ve never had a very good memory. At best, it’s sporadic. I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, but I can remember vivid memories from my childhood. I supposed most people are like that, but in my case, I’m usually surprised by the odd things I can recall … Read the blog
Awakening the Dream – Latest Blog on the Hope for Widows Site
… I’ve stopped dreaming.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened. Was it when Rick got sick and the dreams we shared began to dissolve? Was it after his death, when all my hopes and dreams for the future we had planned turned to dust? I know that in the year and a half since his death, I’ve worked to … Read the blog
The Annual Florida Trip
This is the time of year we’d be going on our annual Florida trip. Usually we left around Valentine’s Day. We took three days to get there. We enjoyed the drive.
Friends often laughed at how long our drive took. “Three days? Why I drove the 17 hours straight through – it was an overnight trip!” But we didn’t care … Read the blog
One Step Back
I’ve heard it said a million times about the grief journey – the progress towards healing is two steps forward, one step back.
I guess this week I’ve taken a step back.
A few days ago, I wrote about my decision to remove my wedding ring, well, not actually remove it, but move it from my left hand to my … Read the blog
My Ring Ceremony – Latest Blog on the Hope for Widows Site
… And with that realization, came the decision that it’s time to remove the symbol of our marriage, the beautiful ring that he ceremoniously placed on my left hand so many years ago. To me, continuing to wear the ring is a symbol that I am currently a married woman, a woman who has a living, breathing husband who shares … Read the blog
My Funny Valentine
I do my best to fill my weekends. I’ve had a year and a half to hone my skills. When Rick was alive, I used to look forward to Fridays, the last day of the work week and then – Whee! Freedom! Rick and I could hang out together, starting with breakfast at our favorite diner, then – depending on … Read the blog
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes – Latest Blog Posted on the Hope for Widows website
Aftershocks
Dear Rick,
How can you be gone?
I repeat this question to myself at least once a week, sometimes out loud, usually accompanied by a silent sob.
I guess I’m getting better. It used to be several times a day, and – in the weeks after you died – it was several times an hour.
True, as life and time … Read the blog
With This Ring
Yesterday marked 17 months since my husband died. So much has changed in my life since then. I’ve grieved, and grieved, and grieved some more. I’ve worked through the grief, written through the grief, talked to my grief counselor, cried on the shoulders of family and friends, and – to be honest – I’m really, really tired of grieving. Shouldn’t … Read the blog