I went for minor surgery without Rick yesterday. He was always by my side, even in the doctor’s office when discussing the procedures or issues. He drove me, sat with me, took me for lunch somewhere to celebrate the fact that I had done whatever was required despite my negative feelings about anything to do with doctoring or medicine. I’ve … Read the blog
Sunday, November 13, 2017
I had another slight meltdown today after Lynn left. I didn’t feel like doing anything except sitting in my Rick blanket cocoon. I guess it was because I spent the entire day until 1:30am with others and didn’t have any time to cry.
I thought of Rick several times yesterday. In the movies, he was always next to me. We … Read the blog
I Desperately Want to Turn Back Time
I desperately want to turn back time.
I want to relive every moment, good and bad.
I want you here.
I want more time.
I want normal and nothing has been normal since you died.
When you were diagnosed, we knew there was no forever,
but I never really pictured it. It was a vague shadowy future that I dreaded … Read the blog
Weeki Wachee
I was looking for a picture of Rick cooking to go with a blog post. I came across several pictures from Weeki Wachee. We stayed at a motel, loved it, and Rick went to the park to cook food while I worked during the day.
I knew we had some shots of us at the park. We had completely taken … Read the blog
Thoughts this morning
Dear Rick,
I watched Danielle this morning – your job. I got up at 6:30am and, while she watched TV, I went into your office and uploaded MFTH blog pictures – your job.
I drove Danielle to school – your job.
As I was driving down Harrison, I thought how odd it was, this strange loop of life. I used … Read the blog
Frozen meat
It’s noon and I’m hungry so I went to find food. I thought I’d take out some frozen chicken and maybe make a stir-fry for dinner.
I found 2 frozen chicken breasts and what looks like frozen steaks. Then I found 2 larger bags, with big cuts of some kind of meat.
I thought, this is ridiculous. It looks dry/frosty, … Read the blog
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Dear Rick,
There are so many things that I wish you were here for. I think you would have been pleased to see me out with Cindy and the kids the other night. I think you would be happy that we are doing Thanksgiving together this year, even though you are gone. They are and will be my family forever. … Read the blog
Flashbacks
Dear Rick,
I was taking a quick break to read emails between projects at work. One email was about SAE logo merchandise for sale.
I was browsing through the shirts and suddenly flashed back to Florida – you and I in a Walmart. You were buying two or three of those silky zip-up shirts that you liked so much. You … Read the blog
Twelve weeks
Dear Rick,
Twelve weeks.
This is the longest we’ve been apart since the night we met. How can I go on without you?
I thought the pain might be getting better…that the hole in my heart would start to heal. Scar over.
It’s not happening. It’s getting worse.
Another Sunday morning without you – what do I do? Where do … Read the blog
My mother was wrong
“A man will never love a woman as much as a woman loves a man.” – A quote from my mother after one of my boyfriends left me when I was in my early twenties.
If my mom were here now, I’d tell her how wrong she was.
Richard Kevin Palmer loved me as much as I loved him. He … Read the blog