The overhead lights in the hallway started flickering again a couple of weeks ago. This hasn’t happened in a while, not a long while. When Rick first died, the ceiling lights in the kitchen started to flicker one night. I was washing dishes and could see them flickering out of the corner of my eye, but, oddly, when I looked … Read the blog
Tag: Hope for Widows
Happy Birthday to Me – New Post on the Hope for Widows Blog
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
Wanting What I Used to Have – Latest Blog on the Hope4Widows Site
Sunday afternoons used to be my favorite time of the week. Sunday afternoons on a chilly, gloomy fall day (as much as I HATE the approaching winter) were even better. Right about now, Rick would be ready for a nap. He would’ve just wrapped up some work on the website for one of our clients after a breakfast we shared … Read the blog
New Start, Bad Choices – Becoming a Wiser Widow (Hope 4 Widows Blog)
As time moves on, I feel less like a widow, and I begin to wonder how long I’ll still be writing a widow’s blog. But it may be for a little while longer, because even as I continue to pursue my new life, the “single woman” life, being a widow affects how I think and the decisions I make. It … Read the blog
Until Death Do Us Part – Hope4Widows
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog
The Rose-Colored Glasses
In early 2016, I led a charmed life.
I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog
What I’m Left With – Latest post on the Hope4Widows website
I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.
Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m … Read the blog
My Mom Once Told Me…
My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us
She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.
My mom once told … Read the blog
If You Were Here
If you were here this morning,
You would have urged me out of bed
“C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say
And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck
When we were finished, you’d say,
“Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…”
And we’d work together, side by side…
You with your … Read the blog
The Missing Piece – Latest Blog on the Hope for Widows Website
I woke up today realizing I feel more alone now than I ever have in my life.
And it’s not just that I’m living alone for the first time – no parents, no child: totally alone in this quiet house. It’s a different kind of alone than just being alone physically. This is a kind of alone that I didn’t … Read the blog