Anticipatory Grief in the Pandemic – Hope for Widows blog

anticipatory grief

Waiting has always been hell for me. I’m an extremely impatient person and have been this way since I was a child. But, enduring this coronavirus pandemic, waiting and watching as this impending doom grows closer and more certain, takes on a horror all its own. I’ve been sitting alone in my home for nearly two weeks now. Waiting to … Read the blog

Happy Birthday, Superman

grief journey

Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the Read the blog

Still Waiting

grief poetry

Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays

Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…

Still waiting

Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride

Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog

My Mom Once Told Me…

grief journey

My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us

She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.

My mom once told … Read the blog

If You Were Here

grief journey

If you were here this morning,
You would have urged me out of bed

“C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say
And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck

When we were finished, you’d say,
“Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…”

And we’d work together, side by side…

You with your … Read the blog

The Man Who Slept Beside Me

grief journey

This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started recording his face as he … Read the blog